Monday, December 20, 2010

End of traditions

Longer break than I expected I’m not sure that I can blame my life for it, rather I didn’t know if I should write about what had happened or otherwise so today I’m going to talk about a tradition I experienced lately. I don’t want pity, I don’t want apologies I want to discuss traditions. It’s how I roll

The day after Thanksgiving I received two phone calls from my dad. The first warning me of the second. The second informing me of the passing of my first grandparent. I recognize the blessing of having all four of my grandparents my whole life and I know he was ill, but it still caused a swarm of feelings and thoughts I was not ready for. I flew out west and had great conversations with my family and I have dealt, in my way with things.

So onto the tradition of funerals, specifically flowers. Flowers sent to the widow, the family, placed on the casket, flowers of all colors, types and all varieties of beauty. I think they are a conventional way of expressing the inexpressible. They indicate a love for those that are left. My grandmother seemed quite comforted with the bouquets and such that she received.

Maybe it’s because I am a girl, maybe it’s because I love gestures and traditions or maybe it is because I am cynical, but I hope to have no flowers at my funeral. I hope I get them all while I’m alive. Cheesy, I know but I love the act of someone picking up a bouquet just because they can. I love when someone who loves me brings them home after a trip to the grocery store where nothing but a passing thought initiated the purchase. I place them in a vase and leave them on my cluttered counter.

When I walk in my kitchen and see them sitting amongst the chaos that is my life I get to smile. When i bring in cuts from my lilac bushes my whole house smells like flowers. I love flowers. I specifically planted tulip bulbs all around my patio so every spring I can walk out onto my porch and see the buds and blooms of my favorite flower.

So instead a funeral, maybe there can be a flower planting party. Better yet, chuck a couple bulbs in the ground with me.


Michelle said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandparent. I lost my Grandmother, a third Grandparent in March and it sucks even though it was "for the best". And I'm with you on the flower thing.

Miss Amy said...

I like the idea of something that is not going to die in a few days, or go rotten and spoil, like a fruit basket.