Obviously, I haven’t had much to say over here in awhile, but really that is because there was too much to say, too much of a story and not enough interesting/poignant ideas to discuss.
So let me start by looking back at the end of 2012 beginning of 2013. 2012, despite my clear intentions of creating some thoughtful traditions, turned out to be a bad year. I can’t pinpoint for you anything specific, other than some job losses in the family, it was just an all-around awful year that ended with the death of another grandparent. 2012 made me I accept that 2013 was going the be the year that it wanted to be no matter what I did, so I focused on enjoying things, really trying to have some fun and while I wouldn't call it a massive success, some major changes occurred and I have found success throughout it.
First, the health drama: Back in March I found a bump, which turned out to be a tumor (thank goodness a non-cancerous one). That involved multiple visits to specialists, ultrasounds, biopsy and finally surgery followed by a couple weeks of pain, discomfort and some very impressive bruising. I would show you the bruising but it’s an “explicit” body part that I’d rather not have plastered on the interwebs.
Again, I came out of there without a life-threatening diagnosis so I am more than grateful that all it turned out to be was a harmless, though annoying growth.
Then the job drama: Shortly after that I was offered the chance ot interview for a position at a big company with the possibility of moving sometime in the future. All of that went well and “the future” ended up being July. I moved from MA to CA in July (I’ll tell the whole roadtrip story another time).
All during this time Jim had finally landed a job at a decent, honest, worthwhile company that paid him for his true value. Now Jim is not a complainer, but I can truly say that he has not worked for an honest institution since the day we met, so this was a blessing. Unfortunately, it was also a curse because he started right before my interview process and there was no way I would ask him to leave that situation and move to the unknown thousands of miles away. So he stayed to finish up selling the house.
You see I had reached a point where I felt that I would never get out of my house. Now, it’s not that I didn't like it, I did. My gardens were my joy and nothing made quite as happy as eating asparagus and tomatoes and peppers, etc straight from the garden. BUT at some point the house went from a home, the place where my heart resided, to an unforgiving anchor holding me in new England. The house came to represent none of the good things, none of the good choices and none of the progress I had made in life and instead became the burden of every mistake and bad choice I had made for 27 years.
Onto the housing drama: Now, I said that Jim stayed to finish selling the house because it sort of fell in our laps. We had put our house on Zillow years ago with a “make us move” price, knowing full well it was well over market value. Well, eventually market value started to creep upwards and someone really wanted our specific neighborhood so we negotiated a way to sell the house without owing more than we sold it for. This is a level of relief I can’t explain.
So as of today I have moved from New England, to CA from 1800+ square feet to 280- square feet of living space and it has been a transition, but even that transition was wonderful. I found a cottage, really an in-law suite, to rent in CA. It provides enough living space for me and the people that live in the house in front let me do laundry for free, I have parking and I still live in suburbs 15 minutes from work. My commute has definitely gone down in beauty and up in stress level, but it has been wonderful so far. The property where I reside has apple, plum, fig, lemon and orange trees along with a grape vine and enough lavender for a lifetime and even some rosemary. All it needs is a beehive and a chicken coop and I might be in my suburban heaven.
Except I’m alone. I have lived with family or roommates basically my entire life and I have always been ok with that idea. I have never had a husband that didn't share in chores around the house (in fact I’m probably the one that should be complained about). My full thoughts about living alone are for another day, but so far, I am doing mostly great.
Onto 2014. As previous posts have explained, I despise resolutions, but I do believe in progress as a person and traditions that support progression. So the question is how do I want to progress? Great question, answers for another day.